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My Current Life: Crashing, Burning, and Horses

Life Stuff

Crashing and burning

I had a super productive early year. From January to April, I worked hard on a few projects that I wanted to get done. I made a lot of headway. None of those projects were writing, but I felt they were really worthwhile.

In April, I did a lot of traveling. In a span of 3 weeks, I had 3 conventions in 3 different states. Two of those were working gigs — I taught at them — the final one I was an attendee. Obviously, when I got home, I needed some time to get back on track, but I struggled. A lot.

I’m still struggling. There are a bunch of things that happened in between. A death in the family, logistics in dealing with a death from last year, family medical stuff, and a sick kitty. None of these are excuses not to get my work one, but they all contributed to my mental landscape.

And I have to face it. When I feel overwhelmed and bogged down, I become avoidant. I procrastinate, put things off, find any excuse not to do what needs to be done. I don’t think I’m alone in this behavior, either. But being in good company doesn’t really fix things, does it?

Getting back on the horse

I’m starting to come out of that funk just now. I can’t say I’m completely back on track, because I’d definitely not. But I have re-evaluated my track and have started aiming my car in that general direction. I’m not quite back in the race, but I expect that will happen soon.

I started my move toward getting out of the crash and burn phase by going back to my therapist. He’s amazing and I had stopped going in February, just because my life had gotten really chaotic and I didn’t really have the extra time to get out there. Then I was just out of the habit. This had been the first time  hadn’t seen him in more than a 3 week stretch in probably 5 years. So that was number one.

Number two was evaluating what I wanted to do. Did I want to stay on the path I was on? Did I want to diverge altogether? So I did some thinking and have made some changes based on that. Might that change again in the future? Sure. Pivoting is important. Being able to shift your direction based on changes in life or your own personal goals is an important part of living life.

As I said, I’m getting back on track, so plan to get the blog going on its regular schedule again. Thanks to the folks who reached out to check on me. It’s nice to know when you’re missed 😉

 

 

 

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Responsibility Means Saying No

Life Stuff

What I’m Listening To: “Smalltown Boy” by Bronksi Beat on World Shut Your Mouth

Something Cool: Con season is coming up!

One of the podcasts I’ve been listening to while I travel is the backlist of Beyond the To Do List. It’s all about creating a more productive life. I was on Episode 21, which featured Christin Taylor. It’s a good podcast ep, particularly for Millennials (of which I am not), and something she said struck me as really interesting.

Christin and her husband were at a marriage retreat, and they each took a quiz which highlighted their strengths and weaknesses. She was really surprised when one of her husband’s strengths came out as responsibility and that was not one of her own strengths from the test. She felt like she was the one always committing to things and he was the one always saying no, so she she felt like she was the more responsible.

I found this really interesting. Like a lot of people, I sometimes have trouble saying ‘no.’ I’ve done a lot better in the last several years, but especially before that, I was terrible at it. It never occurred to me that saying yes all the time didn’t make me responsible or highlight that I was responsible. It actually made me a bit irresponsible, because I’d agree to do too many things and I’d do none of them well because I was spread so thin.

I’ve always considered myself to be a responsible person, even from a very young age, so this is a bit of a paradigm shift for me. But it’s one I want to make, because I see the validity in it being more responsible to limit what your name is attached to so you can do those things well, versus attaching your name to *everything* and all of them done in a mediocre way.

How about you? Have you ever thought about responsibility in this way? Or does this kinda blow your mind the way it did mine? Let me know in the comments!